Dear Princess Darby,

I'm just starting to come out to all of my family and friends. I've never been in a relationship with a girl before, and my last relationship (with a boy before I was out to myself and still in denial) was a few years ago.

I'm not only afraid that I forgot how to be in a relationship and be intimate with someone, but also, more importantly, that no girl will want me to be with me because of my inexperience and not being out completely.

Do you think that me not knowing what to do will be a big turnoff? What do you think is the best way for me to learn? Will I ever be able to be in a relationship again?

Thanks,

Lonely and Innocent



Dear Lonely and Lost,

Thank you for sharing and confiding in your letter on questions on relationships and sexuality.

If you reread your letter as I have, you will see and feel the sofness, concern, and willingness to share in a relationship. You've already accomplished in voicing your concerns, what others have failed in recognizing what's important in a relationship.

A relationship is defined as a connection with another. Everyday you connect with. It will be easy and both complicated at times, but that is what one experiences reaching maturity.

We are all born innocent, isn't a shame we can't keep some it it? It is a beautiful quality. You make your own discoveries, and create your own life, in your own time. Life gives us experiences and choices. Make sure your choices are the best and smartest for you.

In instances like this, I often suggest that you reach out to your familiy member like your Mom, close but wisest friend, your doctor, counselor, or therapist, or a youth group. You should never feel alone.

As to innocence, it is the beauty of the awakening of oneself. Be patient, be careful. Trust me, when you're ready, it'll come naturally.

If you have any more questions, feel free to write again.

Princess Darby