Dear Princess Darby,
In a couple of weeks I'll be moving into my college dorm room with 5 strangers.

I've been in touch with my future roommates by e-mail, and I've gotten the sense that some of them are very religious (read: homophobic).

Should I come out to my roomies before we move into the dorms so that if there's going to be a problem with us living together, they or I can maybe switch room assignments?

Or, should I just keep my mouth shut and see what happens? I don't want to be known only as The Gay Kid at school, but, on the other hand, I also want the freedom to be open about my sexuality.

- Scared and Excited to be Going to College



Monday, August 18, 2003

Dear Sared and Excited,

Reread your question to me. You have good reasoning and rationale.

Have you discussed this your parents? Or your advisor at school?

If not, perhaps you may wish to see a counselor or therapist to discuss the issues which you seek advice.

These are the responsible options I am able to offer you. Going public when you are not ready, may effect you, your relationships, and add pressures which you are not ready for.

If you think your new room-mates may not be compatible, what are your other options for replacements? If you are in a bind, you could wait, see how everything shakes out, and make arrangements for next year.

You'll never know who you will connect with during the school year. On the other hand, if you feel that they are "homophobic", then try to find alternate arrangements.

Your first year is a challenge for anyone. Take it easy. Remember you have a right to privacy.

Enjoy your new adventures and school year!

Princess Darby