Dear Princess Darby,

I am a 15 year old bisexual, and I want to go to the Chicago Pride Parade with my friends. How can I tell my strict mother that I'm bisexual and I'm going to the parade without her wigging out??

Wiggin Out



Sunday, May 25, 2003

Dear Wiggin Out,

First, may I suggest that you re-read your question. Are there one or two questions? And if there are, which question is the most important and serious with you?

Depending on the relationship with your family, the love and security are your blankets of comfort to share your sexuality.

Since you are 15 years old, you are under age, and I will always advise you to seek out the help of your parents and counselors. Keep in mind, I am not an expert, but an extra outlet to listen.

Remember, your parents are legally responsible for you. Respect them. You only have one set of parents. Even if you don't agree, I'm sure they have your welfare in mind.

If you feel that your mother and other family members are not ready to accept your bisexuality, then it is your right to wait. They're not mind readers.

Attending the Chicago Pride Parade in a sense is also a community event, just like the Jazz Fest, Celtic Fest, etc. I know it's also a confirmation of an activity which proudly identifies the pride of being gay, but it's also appreciated and attended by non-gays. My husband and I were on our ChicagoPride.com float last year.

Explain your plans with your mother. Tell her you and your friends are planning to go to the parade, and it should be fun! But if necessary, get her permission.

Be happy, be proud, be comfortable with who you are, and how you feel. Only you are able to judge when you are ready to come out.

If you are in an uncomfortable position with your bisexuality, I suggest you contact a group like Horizons which have teen support groups, a close friend, counselor, doctor, or therapist.

You are only 15 years old, but, you are never alone. You have your whole life ahead of you. Take it one step at a time, and enjoy each step into your teens and adulthood. It takes time to figure out who we are, what we want, and what we want to do-I'm still thinking about it, and changing everyday!

Princess Darby